When a Loved One Suffers – Tips and Advice for Carers of People with Suicide Ideation
Photo courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez
Supporting a loved one who is experiencing suicidal ideation can be emotionally challenging and draining. While every person’s situation is unique, there are several strategies that carers, friends, and family members can use to support their loved ones more effectively. Here’s a summary of key advice from Positive Support Group’s suicide prevention team:
1. Establish Routine and Purpose
Rahma Farah, Behaviour Analyst – Highlight that individuals often struggle more with their thoughts when they are not engaged in meaningful activities. Encouraging your loved one to participate in activities that they find enjoyable and meaningful can therefore help them create a sense of purpose and routine. Once they start engaging in these activities, make sure to emphasise how valuable their presence and contributions are to their family, friends, or community. It is important to remind them how their unique qualities and actions positively impact those around them.
TIP
Help your loved one pinpoint something they want to live for and gently remind them of it when appropriate.
2. The Power of Perspective
Kirstie Bishop, Behaviour Analyst and service lead quotes a previous client who had support from PSG’s Suicide Prevention service, “You don’t get the rainbows without the rain”
TIP
Remind your loved one that even during dark times, there is the possibility of brighter days ahead. This doesn’t mean minimising their struggles, but offers hope and perspective.
3. Create Space for Open Conversations
Chloe Jorgensen, supervising Behaviour Analyst, emphasises the importance of giving time and space for open conversations about feelings and suicidal thoughts. “It’s a myth that talking about suicide increases suicidal thoughts - more often, the individual will feel a sense of relief. Validate their feelings without trying to “fix” them”. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the difficulty of someone’s emotions can be more supportive than jumping into problem-solving mode.
TIP
Be mindful of your tone of voice, the questions you ask, and environmental factors such as loud or busy settings, which can increase stress for some people.
4. Take Time for Self-Care and Connection
Although it is imperative that an individual with suicidal ideation is supported and cared for, it is also vital that the people caring for them access that same level of support. We know how hard it can be to carve out time to even think about yourself at times like these, so we’ve put some tips together to take that thought process out of the situation.
Sam Martin, Behaviour Analyst and service lead, suggests that respite time is crucial for carers. Taking breaks, engaging in mindfulness practices, or joining support groups with others in similar situations can provide much-needed relief. Emotional regulation strategies can also be beneficial, both for carers and for the individual experiencing suicidal ideation.
TIP
Try grounding exercises such as focusing on the present moment through the five senses, or deep-breathing techniques to manage stress.
5. Seek Support for Yourself
Sarah Hellawell, Behaviour Analyst, highlights the importance of carers receiving support, too. Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally taxing, and it is important for carers to have their own outlets for debriefing and emotional support. Don’t hesitate to talk to someone you trust or engage in activities that nourish you.
TIP
Remember the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It is essential to take care of yourself to be able to provide care and support for others.
6. Debrief and Refill Your Cup
Chloe Jorgensen, also mentions the importance of topping up your own mental, physical, and emotional reserves after supporting someone with suicidal ideation.
TIP
Reflect on your own feelings, debrief with someone you trust or engage in activities that replenish your energy and emotional reserves.
Final Thoughts
Providing support for someone experiencing suicidal ideation requires compassion, patience, and understanding. Remember that you don’t have to have all the answers—being present and offering a non-judgmental space for your loved one to express themselves is often the most meaningful support you can give.
In terms of looking after yourself, remember that it is okay to set boundaries, take breaks, and ask for help. Caring for yourself isn’t a luxury - it is essential. Supporting a loved one with suicidal ideation is a long road, but with the right tools and strategies, you can maintain your own well-being while being there for them. If you or someone you know is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support.